i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
