I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
