How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
