All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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