Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
