i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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