So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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