Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
