I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
