party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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