I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
