I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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