i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
