She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
