My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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