so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
