He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
