I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
