I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
