Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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