i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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