either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
