absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
