do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I could punch you in the face.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
