dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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