I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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