There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
