What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
