Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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