HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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