My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
