ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
