Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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