She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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