i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
