I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
