Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
