We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize