Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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