If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
