Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
