I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
