at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
