I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
