No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
