Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
