Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
