Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
