I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
