Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would fuck him just for his dog
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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