He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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