and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
