Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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