what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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