he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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