I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
handjob tips. give me some.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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