Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
